Planning

*Headnote: This is vague unless you talk to me on a regular basis.

Welp, this is never how I thought it would go.

It's not like anyone ever said I needed that other someone in my life. Granted it was nice for a while, and just the thought of potentially belonging to someone else is attractive in itself. It's like a song. I want you to want me. I need you to need me. (Past tense.)

It's actually kind of funny how it over-powered my thoughts. Little things would remind me of him. I'd smile hearing his name. It seemed I was a little happier knowing that possibilities existed.

When it happened, just nothing. If he didn't want it, then I didn't need negativity in my life.  I want everyone to know, this is still the way I feel about it. I am not sad, nor happy about it for that matter. But everyone should know that you can't force people into doing something they don't want to do or don't need. I am still happier than I have ever been (other than the underlying stress I have for three tests tomorrow). But it was nice. For a while.

All I can think is that if it wasn't gonna work, then fine, maybe it won't nor ever will. I am ok with this. I just hope that no one feels awkward about the entire situation. I'm not looking to break anything, just build more and replan if necessary.

After reading all of this, I know that Miss McGrath was right. I have the power to change the world, what I think about my life, and not just wait for the storm to pass, but to learn to dance in the rain.