Throughly (Un)Modern Me

I just went to see the middle school musical a few hours ago... Throughly Modern Millie (Jr.)
Let's just say, I wished the middle school hadn't done it. I wish that was us, the high school, me. I want to feel what it's like, center stage, pouring my guts out to an audience who may understand what I want to be. I want to flail my arms out stretching as far as they can go to get my point across. I want to yell at the top of my lungs and be artificial that way I can go back to feeling invisible. I want to feel what it's like to have tape on my face because a microphone has to be there because the world needs to hear me because it's me, not everyone else. I wish I had that satisfactory feeling that I was sad it was over but also so relieved that I can be normal again. I wish my heart would race and go to the moon and back without missing a beat. I wish I could see a crowd hanging on my every word as the curtain closes. I wish afterward, I could walk down the hall, but can't make it more than half a step because someone has to stop me to praise me while my makeup runs down my peach-fuzzed ear and cheek. I wish it were me, us.