Conversations at Market

(Side note: Anya is awesome. We had this entire inspirational and scary and crazy conversation in about 80 mins at Market tonight.)

What the hell am I doing here?
I'm failing physics.
Is that the worlds way of encouraging me
to be a Spanish teacher?
Probably, that's what I want to do.

But why can't I give up and just be
who I want to be?
Not because I'm afraid of failing
this,
But because I'm afraid of losing
myself?

But what the hell am I doing here?
Am I here to make myself
happy
Or am I here to be
remembered?

But someone's gotta remember me
Right?
I know I remember them
right?
It barely even matters.

What the hell am I doing here?
What's going to happen to me when
I'm gone?
What's my purpose?
Why was I brought here?
Why do I have these memories?
What don't I have those memories?
Why can't I be from those memories?
Where will my memories go when I'm gone?
To the Earth?
To a cloud?
To another person?
To a picture?
To a speck of dust?
To a cat?
To a house?
To a giant fish bowl with all the other memories?

What if my soul is the same
as yours?
What would you think if I told you
that we are the same.
But different?

Like what is actually my purpose?
What is yours?
Are we real?
Are these really my feelings?
Is that actually my touch?
Are those actually my words,
or just words that have all been
said and done
by so many millions that have come
before me.

Is this real?
Is this worth it?
Is this ok?
Is this not ok?
Why am I so tired?
But it's just time-
But time really isn't a thing
It all exists at once.

But do I?
Do you?