A Parody

So I wrote a parody for my Humor class based off of the Bridges of Madison County... Even if you have never read it, I've been told it's funny.

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She could hear the battered, rattling truck pulling up to her driveway. It was a big, red, dusty, muddy, weathered, monstrous, loud, sandy, rusty, old, crusty, metallic Chevy with big wheels. By the grand size of the tires, she knew that the driver would be making up for something else that was much, much smaller. She rolled her eyes but got up from her wooden swinging chair atop a bed of flowing cherry blossom petals to meet the stranger. She grabbed her shotgun from the wall just in case the newcomer would give her any sass. She was not in the mood for any brashness today. She already birthed a baby cow, and that was excitement enough for her day alone at the farm. The lone ranger stepped out of his car, and she listened to the crunch of his boots on the cobblestone. She immediately scanned up from his polished cowboy boots, scrolling up his bell-bottom jeans to linger on his broad hips. She continued further up her aesthetic journey and realized very suddenly that he was not wearing a shirt. His muscles, glistening in the sunlight, flexed. She looked up at his face and saw his pearly whites and then the crystal-clear blue eyes and the silver hair. She made a quick decision that would probably not be accepted in this little country town. She pulled down her pants and looked into his eyes, winked, and said, “Won’t you come in?” He smiled and answered, “I’m gay.”